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Topic: Foreskin Jokes  (Read 17204 times)
UCEDHM40
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« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2010, 04:56:44 PM »

Why are Jewish men circumcised?  Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's 20 percent off!
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UCEDHM40
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« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2010, 04:59:12 PM »

A surgeon retires from his long career as a specialist in circumcision.  Through out his career he has saved hundreds of foreskins as mementos and now wishes to turn them into a souvenir.  He takes his specimens to a leathersmith and asks him to make something out of them.  A week later the surgeon returns and the leathersmith presents him with a wallet.  "All those foreskins and you only made me a wallet?"  exclaims the surgeon.  The leathersmith replies, "Yes, but if you stroke it, it becomes a briefcase."
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UCEDHM40
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« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2010, 05:13:41 PM »

Have you heard about the kid that was born last week. He was born with no eye lids. Apparently the doctors took the foreskin off his dick and made him eye lids. Yeah, now he's cock eyed.
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« Reply #18 on: May 05, 2012, 06:07:42 PM »

I heard this joke in college in the '60s.  The guy who told it was cut, and everyone he was telling it to was cut except for me (I had seen them all in the showers).  He began the joke by saying, "There was a little boy who was uncircumcised, and his father...."  I was the only one who laughed, as I guess the cut guys didn't get it.  I did the whole moving-your-fist-in-the-air thing and they finally got it and chuckled a bit.  I thought it was hilarious! 

A father was given a task by his wife to teach his intact son how to piss properly because she was getting tired of wiping his piss off the toilet and floor.  When the opportunity came he confronted his son about the proper way to pee.  He said son, "are you aware that there is a proper way to pee without spraying everything"?  The son did not know and asked how.  It's a simple 7 step process and the father continued to personally show his son so he pulled out his cock and proceeded to give him a hands on.

he said,

One.....lift the seat
Two....get your stuff out
Three..pull the foreskin back
four.....aim and pee
five......pull the foreskin forward
six.......flush
seven..put your stuff away

Now whenever they pass by the closed door you can hear him call out the steps every time he pees and doesn't make a mess any more.

One proud day they hear him shouting out,...

Three, five, three, five, three, five!

I heard this joke 40 years ago as a senior in high school. Except that "foreskin" was shortened to skin.
The fellow who told it had a French mother like me, and he may have been uncut as well. I never knew because we never had PE together.
I did not let on to him that I was uncut. Too damn risky in those days of total circ hegemony.
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« Reply #19 on: May 24, 2012, 06:02:03 PM »

Italy was upset when the statue of David was returned after a long tour in the US.  They found that David was returned 100 pounds heavier and circumcised.

This is not a joke, but it's a comment on Michaelangelo's statue of David.  Actually David (who is Jewish) is circumcised.  It's just that in biblical times only the overhang was removed -- most of the glans remained covered.  It was only in post-biblical times that it was changed to removing the whole foreskin.  (Notice that David does not have a full overhang like is common in most art of Michaelangelo's day.)
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« Reply #20 on: June 16, 2015, 06:21:55 PM »

At the end of the tax year, the Inland Revenue office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the agent was checking the books he turned to the Accountant of the Hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages.

What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?"

"Good question," noted the Accountant. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way. "What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Hospital Accountant, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.

"We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Accountant.

"Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Accountant. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the Inland Revenue Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick!"
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